


Old Lovers

by Jenn23133



Series: 30 Days of Marvel [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Artist!Steve, Based on a song, M/M, Past Relationship(s), mentions of depression, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-06 03:26:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15877530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenn23133/pseuds/Jenn23133
Summary: Based on and inspired by  Old Lovers in Dressing Rooms by Keaton Henson.Steve is Captain America but he was an artist first. When the world finds a portfolio of a beautiful blue-eye boy, questions are raised on who they were and they impact on Steve. What happens when Steve runs into them again.





	Old Lovers

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the song Old Lovers in Dressing Rooms by Keaton Henson. This was going to be a happy fic but then this song played and made it sad.

Steve was an artist before he became Captain America. Though people are just making the connection to that Steve Rogers and to himself. For a while Steve was scared to claim those paintings and drawings, the were a sensitive topic and revealed a lot about himself. 

There was a collection called “Over the Year,” that follows the same subject starting at a young age all the way to a young man. The young age was something that still made Steve cringe, he had updated the drawings when he got older but kept the original for times sake. The speculation around who this male was is Steve’s life drive the public crazy and even Steve himself. The press use to asked about it all the time but now he was randomly and it always threw him. He still has never admitted who this male was. 

Today was one of the days Steve was feeling nostalgic and his body decided leaving his room today was going to be too hard. So he dug through his old military chest and found the drawings, flipping through them. He could feel darkness cling tighter to him but he stared at his most recent picture of the subject, though the picture was dated 1923. He knew he had a more recent drawing but to look at the subject to fall at such a hit looking as if they are reaching toward Steve. 

Steve quickly closed the portfolio of his drawing and put it back carefully in the trunk. Steve forced himself to breath regular and blink back tears. Forcing the imagine out of his head, he didn’t want to suffer but it’s just how it happens. “Misery loves company,” Natasha told him that a while ago. Steve carefully got back in bed, curling up like he is to when he was small, trying to forget that he wasn’t in Brooklyn and that the empty space was normal now. 

Steve hadn’t look at the portfolio in a bit. He still has he bad days or rather bad weeks when he gets in a funk. To the point Natasha and Fury has reached out to him about therapy or the VA opportunities. Though Steve prefers to hang out with Stark, Stark... Tony doesn’t make Steve talk about his feelings or what’s going on. Tony let’s him be, they stay up late together in the lab in complete silence other than their noisy breathing. Tony works on his armor or on upgrades while Steve draws. Though so night Steve stares at the wall, sitting like a statue those night Tony doesn’t get any work done but simple watches Steve. Tony doesn’t know how to reach out to him properly, so they just sit in silence. 

“Who the hell is Bucky,” rang through Steve’s Head as he draws his subject. Things have changed over the years, the subject now had a silver arm, an all black outfit and eyes that held no emotions or recognition who Steve was. The sob that broke from Steve’s chest scared him. He quickly moved the drawing, hiding it from his tears that threatened to ruin it, and finally gave in to crying. Steve decided then to make it his goal to find his subject and see those eyes filled with emotion that Steve remembers. 

“Is that really you behind that beard?” A voice called to Steve, it made him just he didn’t think many people in Wakanda would talk to him. When Steve looked up he saw familiar eyes with emotions that were clouded with emotions. 

“I think so... I think so,” Steve replied watching out the corner of his eye as the figure lowered himself beside Steve. They watch the land, sitting in silence.

“You know you still are Captain America... Can I have you autograph?” The voice brought Steve out of his thoughts. Steve looked up to see the blue eyes dancing with emotions and Steve couldn’t stop the laughter that left his chest. Steve watched as the blue eye male joined in and watched how the smile spread across their space. A smile that Steve has drawn countless times, swearing he has never captured the true beauty of it. 

“I was seventeen,” “in the drawings,” the voice supplied when Steve looked confused. “That’s how I remember you,” Steve supplied with a shrug as he avoided looking at the person beside him. 

They continue to talk and retell old stories and old jokes. Sharing smiles and laughs that Steve thought he had lost and never see again.

“I’m a lot happier now,” the voice almost sang. The voice itself could convince Steve that they were happy. It also dance across the words and Steve couldn’t help but frown, “I’m not.” The flash of concern blue eyes made Steve want to retract his words but he couldn’t. 

They fell in comfortable silence, watching the land change around them as the sun began to set. 

“Did you love me like the way you wrote?” The voice interrupted Steve thoughts. Steve sat quietly looking outwards and not really wanting to answer. He knew the voice was talking about the captions and all the answers the press had collected since the portfolio surfaced. If the way Steve drew it capture how Steve felt, he wanted to make sure the words he wrote did. 

“Well I’m afraid so, I’m afraid so” Steve didn’t dare look at the person beside him. Not wanting to see their reaction, especially if it didn’t fulfill his fantasy. 

“I’m happy here, I have a place, a home even...” the voice started struggling with the next words, “I’ve got to go Steve.” 

The usage of Steve’s name made him look up at the voice. The hurt must had been raw on his face when he watched the face’s smile fall. Steve simply jerked his head and watched him leave, not stopping him or adding any extra words. 

Steve was left in silence and decided to continue to watch the field, before he pulled out his sketchbook and draw the subject on last time. The piece had multiple parts, almost comic like, Steve drew what he imagined what it probably looked like when the blue eye man walked up, the man sitting and smile looking over the field of Wakanda and finally his back as he walked away from Steve and honestly his life as well. Underneath the drawing Steve named it, "My Old Lover," knowing that it would give it away who this blue eye man was to him, but in that moment Steve didn't seem to care.

He didn’t move until someone came up to him and told him he has to move, he has places to go and people to meet.

Once he was back at the tower he found the old portfolio and added the new picture to it, Steve took the time to make sure it was in the correct order and named it, "Til the End of the Line," underneath that title he added a short summary.

" 'Til the end of the line' is what you told me. I did not expect to find the end so soon and I did not expect we would still both be alive but miles apart. This portfolio captures how your beauty evolved in my time of knowing you. I would include loving you but to be honest, I still love you. I always have and always will. Til the end of the line might be our always/our forever and maybe our forever did not last a lifetime or as long as I wanted it to but I would not trade a second I had with you for anything. I love you, Bucky... til the end of the line."

The press went wild the next day, highlighting the top of the papers, that Steve Rogers finally revealed who his subject in his portfolio was. That each drawing was full of love, care, the summary on the front had tear stains and it turns out that the subject is an old lover named Bucky. A lover that moved on while Steve Rogers was still holding on.

Tony saw the papers, he read the articles and analyzed all the drawings and when Steve came into his lab and sat beside him. Tony made no noise or movement, usually Steve sat on the other side of the lab bench giving them space to work. Tony did make a noise though when Steve moved and laid his head on Tony's shoulder, Steve's hand loosely around Tony's waist and let out a sigh. Tony gently shifted so he could comfortable work while Steve was rested against his body. Tony worked on the computer in silence, knowing with their position that he wouldn't be able to work with his hands but he didn't mind. This was comfortable and this could become their new normal. They both have loved and lost and regretted how life had decided to unravel but for now they have each other.


End file.
